Terry Paul Choyce
Feb. 11, 2007, Brunswick Street United Church
Last Wednesday I had a delightful visit with my friend Muriel Duckworth. Muriel has spent most of her 98 years actively working for and promoting peace. She was one of the originators of Voice of Women, which is an organisation which lobbies, marches, petitions, and networks for peace all over the world. Last year Muriel was one of a group of women who was nominated for a Nobel Peace prize. She has had a book written about her and a documentary made of her life and work. She is an incredible, fascinating, fun, and humble woman.
Muriel has gone to various churches over her long life time, but now she goes to the Quaker Meeting which meets at the AST library on Sundays. Their service is a contrast to ours, because they largely sit in silence. If someone is moved to speak, they do so. Otherwise, it is quiet. Except for our moment of silent prayer, silence is near impossible here, which suits me fine. But there is a strong commonality in values between our church and the Quakers. As Muriel said on Wednesday, she focusses her life on Love, Faith, and Hope. And the greatest of these is Love - just like Paul said in our Corinthians reading today. Muriel said that if people would only love each other, and realise that we are all connected, there would be no conflicts, violence, or war. She said "What the world needs now is Love"( which is think is a quote from the Jackie DeShannon song.) And it is so true. Our United Church would agree 100% with that statement. I think everyone here would say the same thing. What the world needs now IS love.
Many of our present spiritual philosophers such as Wayne Dyer, Deepak Chopra, and Marianne Williamson (who wrote today's closing prayer), say that there are two basic emotions, from which all of our other emotions stem. These are love and fear. I believe that God has given us the gift of love, but human nature contains many variations of fear. We experience jealousy, paranoia, stress, anxiety, aggravation, anger, and even hate. But when we are at our best, when we are living our true life purpose, when we remember that we are all divine beings, when we know deep inside us that we are all one with God - then we feel love. We feel happier, healthier, freer, and more whole. We feel peaceful. If this feeling could be felt and maintained by everyone, there would be no more wars, no more poverty, no more injustice. We would want everyone to be as happy as we are. Jesus said to love your neighbour as yourself. When you love yourself, and when you love others, and when you love God, your life is full of joy. Your life is not problem free, but you have the inner strength and compassion to lovingly deal with all of your problems.
Our story for all ages this morning (Who Do You Love by Martin Waddell) had the mother cat and her little daughter playing a sweet bedtime game where the little girl named all thecreatures she loved, and why she loved them. Wouldn't this be a great game for each of us to play each night - to actively remember each person who is significant to us, and to recall a pleasant memory about them. Many of us do a variation of this when we say our prayers, asking God to keep our loved ones safe. Some of us do this if we keep a gratitude journal, where we write down everything and everyone we are grateful for. If you want to create a greater feeling of love and connection in your life, begin the practice of remembering and thanking everyone who is in your life. And don't forget to thank God for them as well. When we are mindful of the love in our lives, it will grow. It will grow because we will become more loving and more appreciative and more expressive of our love. With time and practice our negative, fear-based feelings will diminish. We will attract and create even more love in our lives.
This Wednesday is Valentine's Day. In our culture this is the day when we make an extra effort to let those we love know how we feel about them. We do this with cards, flowers, candy, gifts, visits, phone calls, and email. I wish every day was Valentine's Day, because we should be expressing our love to people every day. And the best expressions of our love is not what we buy, but what we say and do. Taking the time to go for a walk with a friend, or do the laundry for your mother, or reading a book to a child, or visiting someone who is hurt or who is lonely, or sending an email joke - like Shazza is an expert at - all of these and many more, are ways that we can express our love every day.
Traditionally we think of Valentine's Day as being a special day for husbands and wives, and people who are in life-partnership with each other. It is vitally important that when you are in a relationship that you verbally and physically express your love for that person EVERY day. We all know that keeping relationships strong and long-lasting is very difficult. I have such admiration for couples like Ken and Gladys who have dedicated their lives to each other for so many years. This is a huge accomplishment and a testimony to the love that is in each of them. Ideally all relationships could have that longevity if the couples concentrated on their love and their commonalities, instead of focussing on their differences and their problems. If we treated every day like Valentine's Day, there would be far fewer divorces and break-ups.
In his book Soul Mates, Thomas Moore says "we may find a soul partner in many different forms of relationship - in friendship, marriage, work, play, and family." We don't need to have a sexual relationship with a person to be linked to that person in a profoundly loving way. Being able to really communicate, to share interests, to spend meaningful and fun times together, to trust and respect each other, to share our highs and lows, and to be totally relaxed with another person - these are all important parts of a lasting relationship. So it is appropriate to make or buy a card for someone who is a close friend on Valentine's Day, or any day you get the urge to. It is appropriate to give someone a hug, or share a meal with them, or just give them a big smile. Carol Smith, who wrote the book An Angel by Your Side, wrote "We crave love and affection not because we are weak and needy, but because we know innately what is important. We were made to love and be loved."
I'd like to end with this friendship blessing written by John O"Donohue in his beautiful book Anam Cara.
"May you be blessed with good friends.
May you learn to be a good friend to yourself.
May you be able to journey to that place in your soul where
there is great love, warmth, feeling, and forgiving.
May this change you.
May it transfigure that which is negative, distant, or cold in you.
May you be brought into real passion, kinship, and affinity of belonging.
May you treasure your friends,
May you be good to them and may you be there for them.
May they bring you all the blessings, challenges, truth and light
that you need for your journey.
May you never be isolated.
May you always be in the gentle nest of belonging with your
anam cara ( your soul friend)."
©Terry Paul Choyce. Used with permission from the author.
