Terry Paul Choyce
Brunswick Street United Church, Mother's Day, May 14th, 2006
Today is Mother's Day, and I'd like to talk about an aspect of mothering which is invaluable for the well-being of children, and the well-being of all of us - and that is nurturing. To nurture someone is to help with their education, and/or their physical well-ness, and/or their spiritual growth, and/or their emotional stability. You do not have to be a mother to be a nurturer. You don't have to have children either. We can all nurture each other. And we can nurture ourselves.
A baby needs constant nurturing and constant care. Parents must provide the child with food, affection, warmth, cleanliness, and safety. They must take the time to teach the child how to walk, talk, feed herself, how to soothe and comfort herself, and how to be with people. Plus a parent has to answer a million questions ranging from "Why do I have to eat my vegetables" to "Why does the sun move in the sky?" To be a loving parent you need patience and perseverance and a wealth of knowledge about so many things. Parenting is one of the most difficult tasks in the world. It is also one of the most rewarding.
One of the most beautiful and moving books I have ever read is Shadow Child by Beth Powning, who lives in New Brunswick. I'd like to read to you from this book (p.210-212).
Beth captures the magic, the wonder and the passion that comes with being a parent. She nurtures her son intellectually and spiritually. She allows him to fully express himself and to ask all of the hard questions, and to keep his dreams and his imagination alive. And in the process she learns and grows as well. Her world opens to the thrill of discovering the fullness of life and the mysteries that we never fully understand. She is yearning for God's whistle too. I think we all are.
In what ways do you nurture other people? Is it by helpful deeds you do, like cooking someone a meal, or calling a friend just to say "hello," or making sure your sick neighbour has a ride to the doctor, or planting a garden which will be enjoyed by many (people, animals, and bugs), or picking up the litter from the street to make the environment look better, or volunteering to read to someone in a nursing home, or teaching a child how to tie her shoes. There are a million ways to reach out with kindness to each other.
And how do you nurture yourself? You come to church, which is great for you spiritually, socially, and I hope intellectually and emotionally. I like to think that being here is one of the best things you do for yourself. But the rest of the week, do you allow yourself to love what you are doing, who you are with, and who you are? Do you savour your food, sit and watch the sunset , pet a cat or dog, relax in a hot bath, read a good book, talk with an old friend, smile at a stranger? We each have different tastes and different needs, and in truth, you are the only one who can fully nurture yourself. For your happiness and health, it is vitally important for you to take care of you.
On this Mother's Day I'd like you to discover ways to be good to yourself, to nurture others, and if you are a parent, to reach out to your child with even more enthusiasm than usual. And, remember your own mother, and how she cared for you. Try and picture the small details of how she made your favourite food, or how she sang to you or how she helped you with your homework, or how she soothed away your tears. No mother is perfect, but every mother tries to love to the best of her ability. Remember the great things about your mom.
I'm going to close with a poem someone gave me. We don't know the author, but it could have been written by every woman I know. It is called:
My Mother's Hands
I used to see them cooking, cleaning up the stove.
They pressed cool compresses on my forehead,
tickled my arms when I felt alone.
They held my hand as we walked through stores,
brushed my hair on a cold winters night.
Laced up my ice skates at the local rink,
tapped on my door to apologize after a fight.
Almost 40 years I've watched those hands give,
they have healed, they have baked, they have sewn.
And now as I wake and prepare for my day,
I see her hands
And realize they are my own
©Terry Paul Choyce. Used with permission from the author.
