Terry Paul Choyce
May 27, 2007, Brunswick Street United Church
Today is Pentecost Sunday, the day we celebrate the Spirit of God that is in all of us. It is this presence of the Divine in our hearts that helps us to live more loving lives. This Spirit helps give our lives direction and meaning. And this Spirit helps us to realise how interconnected we all are.
Everyone has the freedom to feel and understand their connection to God in their own way. Many people choose to strictly follow the doctrine and dogma of an organised religion to provide them with answers about God and life. Other people choose to reject their divine nature, and to rely on their own opinions of how to live. Some people are like me. They choose to create their own spiritual path. This morning I would like to share some of my journey with you.
For as long as I can remember I have been a seeker and a questioner. And for as long as I can remember I have been on a spiritual quest. There has been an aching and a longing in me to know God and to know myself. And, because I am a high-end extrovert, there has been a need to include people in this process of knowing and understanding, and loving this world.
I come from a family which attended church weekly, and which taught all six of us kids Christian values. My grandmother, who had a huge influence on me, was a fundamentalist, and she was extremely judgmental towards anyone who did not belief, or think, or live like she did. By the age of twelve I was in full rebellion against the way my grandmother pushed her beliefs on others. During my teen years I spent many hours thinking, reading and then debating her on her views of sin, racism, elitism, hell, salvation, and eternal damnation of everyone who said "shit," or who had sex before marriage, or who ever had a drink of alcohol, or had the misfortune to be a Catholic, a Buddhist, a Jew, etc. IÕm sure my poor grandmother grew to dread the sight of me. And I must admit that for many years of my life I did not have much respect for her. But, I must attribute my present beliefs and my present way of life, inadvertently to her. As a very young child she helped set for me a firm foundation in religion and in living my values, which has never left me. As a teen she made me think, and to construct my own beliefs and my own passion for God. I am now very grateful to her for that.
My faith journey is intermingled with my personal journey. I grew up in New Jersey and we went to the only Protestant church in town. It was in many ways similar to the United Church of Canada, in that it was a blend of Methodist and Presbyterian churches. I went there until I was 16, when my youth group was denied permission to put on a play where some of us had on black masks. The play was in opposition to the fact that no one of colour was allowed to be a member of our church, or even live in our town (this was 1968!) Following this I did not attend church at all regularly until 1982, when I joined Calvin United Church in Lawrencetown, NS. It was my local church, and I went so my young daughter Sunyata could go to Sunday School, and so I could feel more integrated into my community. This church was not a good fit for me, except for the brief time when Rev. Debbie Aitken was the minister. I found it too set in its ways and not very friendly. But I stayed until 1994.
In 1994 I had an emotional breakdown. I was having major problems at home, and I did not feel that I belonged in Lawrencetown for many reasons. To break out of this funk I began attending the Unitarian Church in Halifax. I immediately felt at home and welcomed in this church. Here was a congregation of questioners. Here were people who were not judgmental or conventional. My spiritual and social life began to flourish. My self-confidence and self-knowledge grew exponentially. In 1999 I became their chaplain and conducted many weddings, funerals, and also church services. For the first time in my life I was in love with myself and what I was doing. My spiritual longing had merged with others who were open to new ways of thinking, believing, and being. I even taught a course I designed called "Creating Your Own Theology".
My then-husband Lesley and I ran a publishing company, Pottersfield Press and I edited some of the books. I met Rev. David Hart in 2002, and he asked me to edit his book Christianity:A New Look At Ancient Wisdom. His theology was very much like my own. It reconnected me to my Christian roots in a way which felt totally right for me. I could now blend my early beliefs with my adult knowing. I was at home theologically. And I had a new spiritual mentor in David.
In 2003 I left my husband and moved to Bedford. I became very involved with Bedford United Church and became a member there. In June -July of 2004 I was the presider at the 9 AM service for 6 weeks. Then one day in early August I was in DavidÕs office when a call came in from Scott Barber at Brunswick St. United. They had no one to preach that Sunday. David asked me if I would do it. I jumped at the chance. And I am still here today. I feel totally blessed to be able to be an integral part of this church. Together we learn to love God, Christ, ourselves, and the world. This congregation is a family of faith. Love lives here.
I believe in the power of each of us to create a relationship with God. I believe that God wants each of us to shine (Matt. 5:14-16), like Shazza read to us this morning. "Your light must shine before people, so that they will see the good things you do and praise your Father in heaven."
I do not believe that God wants us to think we are sinners. We should not be afraid of God. We should not even fear death. God created us to love our lives and to live joyfully and gratefully. And we are to treat each other with respect and compassion. This is extremely important. It is also vital that we treat the earth as if it were a living being, because I think it is. We each have to use the light of God to guide us to love and care for all of creation.
I invite each of you to take your own spiritual journey. What do you really believe? What makes sense to you, and what leaves you scratching your head in perplexity? How do your beliefs affect your every day life? Do you live your values? What is the purpose of your life? Are you afraid of the future and afraid of death? What comes after death? Does your faith help you through lifeÕs difficulties? Does the miracle of creation fill you with delight and wonder? Are you happy , or at least contented with your life? How can your life be better? How can you feel even closer to the Divine Power that is in and around us all? Believing in God is more than just coming to church or reading the Bible. To love God is to love yourself and to love this world.
I personally plan to ask more questions and discover new answers, in my quest to be at oneness with myself, and at oneness with God. And I hope to be able to guide you with your questions and find the answers that make sense to you. We are on this journey together. It is the light from each of us that will illuminate this twisty, turny road of life. And when we join our lights with the huge Light of God, the whole world will be brighter.
