Terry Paul Choyce
August 5, 2007 BSUC
I learned a lot of life lessons when I was pregnant with my oldest daughter Sunyata. Perhaps the hardest lesson to learn - and to still learn, is how to have patience and how to wait. Throughout our lives we all have times that are frustrating or boring or painful, but we often cannot rush through them. They are as much a part of our lives as the joy.
Sunyata's due date was Oct. 2. In Nova Scotia, the deadline for starting school is Sept. 30. Therefore I thought it would be to Sunyata's advantage to be born just a few days premature. During the last week in September I began jumping rope and jogging, hoping to get her moving a bit faster. Well, I did create some false alarm contractions, which I thought were the real thing, but Oct. 2 came and went with no baby. I knew then I was not in control of this child, and honestly, I never have been. I also learned that I am not always right in doing what I think is best. As it turned out, having that extra year before school was terrific for Sunyata.
I finally went into labour on Oct. 8, Thanksgiving day. I did not know the human body could survive such intense pain. After 30 hours of labour I felt strong urges to push this baby into the light. But my cervix was not open enough. I had to breathe, breathe, breathe - and scream, scream, scream. If I pushed I would have hurt myself and tired myself out even more. I was totally out of control of my body and my baby. Finally at almost 36 hours of labour, on Oct. 9th, I was told I could push, and 10 minutes later I had the most beautiful baby in the world in my arms. When it was the right time for her to come, she rushed right out.
All of us have times when we are impatient to make changes. Perhaps we have a job we don't like, but we need the money, so we can't quit. Or we are jobless, and finding one we like seems to be an impossible task. Perhaps we are not living where we want to, or we are not in the kind of relationship that is best for us, or we are sick and the healing will take a long time. It is extremely difficult to be patient and calm. And sometimes, it is wrong to be patient and calm. Sometimes we have to push. So how do we know what to do?
Our Old Testament lesson was the one we all know and love, Ecclesiastes 3:1 to 14. "There is a time for everything and a season for every purpose under heaven." In our lives we will feel every emotion, we will have many different experiences, we will start and end many relationships, and we will physically, emotionally, and spiritually go through many stages. No one is exempt from happiness or from sorrow in some form or another. There is a time for it all, and often we are not really in control of the timing.
In our New Testament reading (John 7:1-9) the disciples wanted Jesus to go with them to the Jewish Feast of Tabernacles. Jesus said "The right time for me has not come..." so the disciples went without him. Jesus knew that one of the secrets of life, and survival, is in timing. But for most of us, it is so hard for us to know what is the correct time for us to act, or when we should just hang in there and wait. Learning about our own personal time clock is very difficult, partly because every person is different and every situation is different. And most of us don't even know ourselves well enough to know what is best for us.
This is where having faith comes in. When we trust that God always loves us, no matter what, we can relax a bit about being alone or making a mistake. We know that if we centre ourselves and pray to God, we will be given a sign or direction. We may meet just the right person, or read a very helpful book, or see a "For Rent" sign just where we want to live, or hear about a new medication, or get offered the perfect job - because our faith has left us open to possibilities. To have faith is to be optimistic and open. When we trust that God will work wonders in our lives - eventually, we can more easily endure life's labour pains.
It also helps to know that we all go through developmental stages. We know about the terrible twos and the temperamental teens. The famous psychologist Carl Jung wrote that there are four stages of life. The first he called the "Athlete" where we are many concerned with our bodily functions and appearances. Most of us are heading out of this stage around 25. Then comes "Adventurer," where we focus on our careers or families.. Next we have the "Wisdom" stage where we realise that how we look and what we own are not very important. This often happens in our fifties and sixties. And finally, if we are lucky, we reach the "Spiritualist" stage where we realise how important our faith is, how important other people are, and how we must care for our planet.
When we understand that with each stage comes changes in how we look, how we think, how we feel, and how we relate to the world - we can have more patience for where we are in our time-line. When I was in my thirties I had a huge yearning to dedicate much of my time to spiritual study and to working to make the Earth a more loving and beautiful place. But I was in the stage where my first priority was my family. As Jesus said "the time was not right for me." It took another 15 years before the time was right. When I was 51 I knew it was my time to push and give birth to a new version of myself, a new stage in my evolution.
Where are you in your life now? Are you on a holding pattern, waiting to land or to take off? Are you soaring through the sky, thrilled with who you are? Are you crawling, or are you dancing? Regardless of where you are, you know that this experience is necessary, and that with God, your timing will be perfect.
I'd like to end with this reading from Gift from the Sea by Anne Morrow Lindbergh:
"Perhaps this is the most important thing for me to take back from beach-living: simply the memory that each cycle of the tide is valid, each cycle of the wave is valid...The waves echo behind me - Patience - Faith - Openness, is what the sea has to teach.All of nature is full of examples of the ebb and flow of life. From the ocean, to growing plants, to the change of the seasons, to child birth - all show us that there are times when we must have patience and wait, and there are times when we are free to dance."
(Reading in Unison by Iyanla Vanzant:)
Today I realise that all things have a season, and that all
seasons come to an end.
Today I realise that all things fulfill a Divine purpose to support
my growth and evolution.
TodayI realise that there is no end. There is only now, and this
now begins a divinely new season and purpose in my life.
Today I choose a new beginning over the pain-filled memories of the past.
Today I choose a new season, filled with purposeful thoughts andactivities.
In this moment I am filled with light, I am filled with Joy!
I am filled with love that brings Divine understanding!
For this I am so grateful! Amen
©Terry Paul Choyce. Used with permission from the author.
